I’m drowning in my own emotions
struggling to be a better person
Covered with my own blind ambitions
Struggling to succeed
It’s getting harder but i won’t lose hope
It’s getting lonely but i’ll stay strong
I’m lonely but not alone
I can’t lose track now

I knew it was going to be hard
But i still dared to try anyway
Life can’t shutter my dreams
My dreams have to make a life for me
Am i doing the wrong thing? Can’t tell
I’ll find out at the end of the path
I’m hoping to find light
I’m hoping to find my happiness

I’m hoping to find my dreams
I might be right or wrong?
No one can tell, i just have to find out
Giving up is the birth of regret
I have goals to achieve
But the person i am right now
Is not the person i need to be when i cross the finish line to my dreams
Because i haven’t grown enough in my ownself

Single life vs Relationship life.

We all deserve to be loved but that doesn’t mean you have to settle for a toxic relationship. ‘Single’ doesn’t mean lonely and ‘relationship’ doesn’t mean happy. If you ain’t appreciated, trusted, loved enough and cared for then please leave. It’s not a must that you have to be in a relationship. If you’re patient you’ll get someone who knows your worth. Love is when you care for someone whole heartedly, love is when you trust someone even behind their backs, love is when you feel so safe when you’re around them.
First off, I will clarify by saying that I have been in both of these situations, I am currently single but i have ever tasted a serious relationship that lasted for for 2 continuous years and some months.

Back to you, the questions you may be asking yourself are the following, Do I want to potentially start over and learn about someone I don’t know? Do I want to even compromise with another human? Am I ready for the commitment? Do I have time for the other person? Getting in a new relationship with someone can be terrifying! I’m hoping that this story will help you a little with deciding whether you think the single life or the relationship life is better for you!

Single life, everyone has to be through that single life however being single for a long period of time is dangerous once you see how peaceful it is, you don’t even want to deal with people again. The 4 main pros of being single include: self care, independence, time and money. Those are the four things I believe are the most important in the single life.
Time. As a single person you can spend your free time as you please. Single people have more time to commit to their personal development that they might not have time for in a relationship.You can do as you please and not have anyone to tie you down. You can live a free life and not have to worry about someone, there’s nothing more worse than you wasting your time on someone . I mean I feel so disgusted when someone turns out to be a big waste of time. The longer one takes being single the more selfish they get with time, the adjustment period when you start dating definitely makes you reconsider going back to your simple single life.
Self care; It’s a PRIORITY and a NECESSITY not a luxury. This ain’t just taking a bath, going for massages and more of that luxurious stuff most people do. It’s how you take your power back, walking away from people who deeply suck, setting boundaries and sometimes telling someone to f**k off. Letting go is the hardest thing for me to do, I have had a hard time turning on people because I care so much and love so hard but honey sometimes you have no choice but to show yourself you love you more and how strong you can be. And this the most beautiful gift you grant yourself. You just get busy loving yourself.

Independence. As a single person you have all the independence in the world, you can do what you want, when you want, however you want. It’s just kinda nice doing what I want and not having to deal with someone else’s opinions. For a period of time that i have been single, I’ve loved the single life and you can too! There isn’t anything wrong with being single. You may feel the pressure to be in a relationship because your friends and family want you too. But you can be in a relationship and commit yourself when you feel ready! Don’t ever feel the need to do something that you don’t want too and most importantly, do it when you feel ready and you would feel happy doing it.

Money. When it comes to making, spending and saving money, you can choose how you do it all. You can spend your money how you please not worrying if someone is going to be mad that you spent 200,000 Ug shillings on jewellery and shoes. This is one of the reasons as to why most men are still single, they claim they are to broke too be in a relationship hence deciding to first concentrate on securing the bag because relationships are expensive to maintain.

Relationship life
There are many pros to being in a relationship and there are cons as well. Pro’s could include having someone to lean on in times of troubles, having one single person to be intimate with, someone who can hold you at 3am and say “it’s going to be ok” am with you, no matter how things turn out to be, I’ll always be there, having someone to support you in your goals and dreams, the opportunity to care for someone else.

Being in a relationship from teenage to twenties gets better as you mature. Relationships don’t get any easy, Knowing what you like and don’t like by experiences helps when getting in a relationship so you avoid the awkward convos. One big thing that I learned you have to do to be in a successful relationship is be SELFLESS and COMPROMISE. Being selfless will lead to a happy and healthy relationship.
When you are in a relationship you become dependent on your partner for many of your basic things, this is a big disadvantage as you lose your self-reliance. Helping each other is good and healthy but at some point it makes you incomplete when you’re are alone.
You may have to sacrifice a few small or large things when getting into a relationship (it differs among each person) but, you have to be willing to do that. If you can answer a few of the questions I’m going to ask with yes, you should maybe talk about getting into a relationship with your partner.

Do I see myself with this person? Do i feel really comfortable, safe and happy with this person? Do I want to be in a relationship with this person? Am I willing to compromise and sacrifice a few things in order to be with this person? Do I want to grow with this person? If you think ‘yes’ is the answer to all those questions then go for it!

Food for thought
Some guys are just intimidated by strong independent women and hence they start hating if they can’t drag you to the level where they want you to be. Scaring women with “you are going to end up alone” that’s how patriarchal society makes sure even the least fuckable men are able to get a wife and offsprings. Everyone should just stop pretending like y’all care if a woman is gonna die alone. It’s ok to be picky, it’s your life, your energy so why shouldn’t you value it? Why shouldn’t you set high standards? If you are confident with what you have to offer, shouldn’t you choose carefully who you offer this to?
The man or woman you choose to be your partner will determine everything in your life, your mental health, your peace of mind, your love inside you, your happiness, how you get through tragedies, your success, how your children will be raised and much more. CHOOSE WISELY

How to tell that a woman likes you.

Women and men want the same thing when it comes to love. However good or bad you think you look, there will always be someone out there that will like you regardless of all your flaws. Even the most beautiful girls out their are single.
This article is about women’s signals because some of them will never tell you if they like you or not until you ask them out, She will call you ‘big head’ and other rare names even when she likes you. Men are afraid of being rejected nowadays cause the ladies show light signals even when they meant red.

Ladies please stop showing a man green lights and all the signals when you know you don’t like them, It’s hard on men to directly message you first especially with matters of the heart.
Knowing whether or not someone likes you can be very difficult. If you’re afraid to ask them then here are some of the ways on how you can tell.

  1. They flirt with you. This is the most common way to tell if a woman likes you or not, most women will never flirt with someone they don’t like. If you start flirting with her and she gives you a cold shoulder every single time then thats a red light, however if she likes you then she will flirt back.
  2. They improve on their appearance around you. Women tend to put in extra efforts in their looks so they can look so appealing and attractive to that one person they like. She will have a nice perfume on and try to be smart for you. Women never try so hard to look good for you if they don’t like you. I’m sure you have witnessed some of your lady friends change outfits when you tell them that a particular guy is coming.
  3. She smiles so often around you. This is so natural, there is a way you feel so happy when around someone you like. She will smile and laugh at every funny joke you make. Our bodies are so natural in away that they react whenever the brain feels so happy making you smile. That’s why its hard to tell that someone likes you through texts but easier to tell when face to face.
  4. She talks about you among her friends. Most ladies tell their friends about the man they like. Infact the bestfriend will know alot about you before you even meet her. If you’re still in the talking stage and notice that all her friends seem to know you before you even introduce yourself then just know she likes you and talks to her friends about it.

5. She will casually touch you. Women tend to feel so free and open hearted around the people they like. You might notice that if u are just chilling with friends or just the two of you it’s just natural that she can’t keep hands to herself, she will want to hold hands with you, gently stroke your hair, shoulders, thighs and some never even notice that they are doing it.

6. Her eye contact and facial expression. Most of you have failed to know that someone likes you because all you do is text them from one month to another without meeting them. Meeting someone face to face makes it 100% easier because of facial expressions. If she likes you then she will smile, blush and even bite her lip. Which other signs do you need other than those? Trust me no lady will blush and bite her lip at some random guy that she doesn’t like. So quit texting her and go see her face to face, bring all your A game to the table and watch her signs. Most women will never tell you straight that they like you but their body language will say it all.
7. Her interaction with other men. She will tend to be very friendly around guys just to capture your attention, she will often check up on you just to see how your reacting. At times she will defend you whenever the other guys try to challenge you or say something bad. Some ladies will do the opposite though, if you find her around guys then she will try to pull herself away just to show you that she has no mutual interest with any of them and doesn’t want you to pick the wrong signals.

  1. She will try to be funny around you. I don’t know why this happens but most people try to do or say some random statements around the guys they like. If you find her with her friends then you might hear her friends asking why she’s keeping quiet or acting shy, others will even do some random things to get your attention like laughing or telling funny stories.
  2. She will be interested in your personal life. Women like to know more about the men they like. If she just wants you to be a friend then her jazz will be so formal and if she likes you then her jazz and questions will have an agenda leading to something, you will find her asking about your love and sex life among others. If she’s bold then she might even ask you if you have a girlfriend or wife. Most women don’t ask men that they don’t like personal questions.
  3. She will get nervous around you. Women often get nervous around the people they like, this is usually at the start. she will start doing some stress reducing behaviors like touching her face, stroking her hair or even avoiding eye contact.
  1. She will respond to your texts immediately. Women tend to reply to messages from the man they like so fast, she will not want the conversation to come to an end. Though this can’t be much of a sign since she might just be responding because she’s bored.
  2. She stares at you alot. Women tend to over stare at the man they like. You will notice her checking you out all the time. she will keep staring at you until it comes to your mind that maybe she likes you and wants you to come talk to her. This is common at restaurants, bars and other crowded places.
  3. Stalking you on social media. Most women are born detectives, even when she just knows one name, she will still find your twitter, Instagram and facebook account if she likes you. She will want to know you’re daily routine, friends and hangouts, there is no better way to get to know someone more than social media.

In conclusion, women often send signals to the men they like, so if you see her showing most of these signs then take action. If you’re not interested then just ignore her or let her know that you know how she feels and you ain’t at the same place but if you like her to then go talk to her about it.

Please don’t just see one or two accidental actions as signals, most of these signs go on for more days even months. Ladies, its also okay to tell him that you like him. Some men are so terrible at reading signals, you will show him the green lights from monday to sunday and he won’t notice. Some ladies have lost good men simply because they didn’t let them know how they felt and hence ran out of time and no one wants to live the life of ‘I wish’. Always go for it, let people you love know you love them.

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Ways on how to maintain a good and healthy relationship.

Have you ever wondered why promising relationships come to an end. Cheating is the first thing people think of but the real fact is relationships are complicated. Love alone is not enough. Respect is the centre of everything. Most of you haven’t been in relationships that lasted more than 5 years because of different reasons. Getting into a relationship is easy but maintaining that bond and respect for each other is the real deal.

  1. Proper communication. I think communication is the root to every successful relationship. I’d rather get a “baby i’m busy right now but I’ll call you as soon as i get a chance” text rather than 8 hours with no text and a sorry as an excuse. Let your partner feel secure.
  2. Be supportive. Believe it or not but supporting your partner is the most romantic love gesture. Support his/her dreams let the two of you succeed together. Success will never come on a silver plate and neither will money, try to be considerate and be supportive. Support her dreams, support his ideas show that you really care.
  1. Be yourself. Most people tend to pretend when they are in new relationships. But how will your partner understand you if everything your saying about yourself is a lie. Just be yourself let them like you for who you are.
  2. Be good to his/her friends. Show your partner that not only are you a darling to him but you also friendly to his friends. Your boyfriend’s friends have 50% chances of ending your relationship if they decide to. Being friendly to them is way better than being mean for the sake of the relationship. No man wants a woman who is hated by all his friends.
  3. Avoid constant battles. I think this can be avoided if you try to understand your partner. Ask yourself if what your fighting for is worth it. Avoid doing things that piss them off at all cost. Don’t be the reason as to why your partner is having a bad day each and every time.
  1. Provide time. Please don’t be one of those people who only remember to check on their partners after long hours or even days. It costs nothing to send a message to your girlfriend/ boyfriend just to check on them. If you’ve been busy for 4hours, use two minutes to call or send a text to check on them. Don’t give your partner time to worry about you. If your busy throughout the week, give the weekend to him/her. People be in relationships and still feel lonely, don’t let your partner be one of them.
  2. Compliment your partner often. No one doesn’t like being complimented. Most women take the time to work on their hair, nails and outfits and the men don’t even try to notice. Women like men who notice even the little details and compliment about them. Women try so hard to look good for you men so don’t blow this up. Take a minute to compliment her looks. This also goes for the women, compliment him if he’s wearing a good perfume, looking good among others. There is a way compliments lift up someone’s moods.
  3. Try to understand your partner. Everyone deserves a partner who will not run away when love gets tough. You should try to know what makes your other half happy and what pisses them off. If he hates arguments, then try so hard avoid them. If you don’t like something that she does then talk to her. Solve issues like grown ups that you are.

9. Don’t compare your partner to your exes. Well, i for one don’t like my man talking about his exes. In fact you are not supposed to talk about your ex unless it’s a reasonable case. Some women be out their telling her man “my ex Tommy was better than you at playing this”. Come on! Trust me no one ever wants to hear this. They will act like they are fine but its really not fine.

10. Don’t lie. Don’t do it if you’re just going to hide it from your partner. Telling lies in relationships affects trust. How will someone trust you if you lie to them day in day out. Just don’t hide anything from your partner because either way they will find out one day.

11. Forget about pride. Most partners get into arguments day in day out because of pride. What will it cost you to say sorry when you know your in wrong. Pride is an enemy of progress don’t let it overwhelm you.

In conclusion, don’t be one of those people who think 21st century relationships are just about sex and parties. Some women don’t even know how to look after a man. How will you expect him to buy you all the expensive things when you can’t even respect him and treat him right. By the way, you should normalize saying “thank you” and “please”. It costs nothing to be polite to your partner. You will thank later.

What do you think my next topic should be?

How to pose for pics like a pro.

Well, taking good quality pics is not only for professional models and photographers. Posing can be one’s nightmare but it doesn’t have to be. With a couple of tips and tricks up your sleeve, you will soon love the posing process.

In this article I’ll explain how you can master the art of female poses. These tips will help you upgrade your posing confidence. Some people find it intimidating to pose for pics but a little confidence and poses can help.

I think talking and making jokes during the shoot makes the situation a little less complicated.

Below are the 12 common poses to consider for your next shoot.

  1. The walk. With this pose you can slowly walk towards the photographer and vice versa. You must make this move exaggerated by placing one leg in front of the other. Play around with your hands and hair to feel more comfortable.

2. Sitting. Not all pics are supposed to be taken while standing. You can sit anywhere no matter the location. Try using a chair, stool and stairs among others. I’ve seen pics of models seated on a highway and they turned out perfect. Just be creative and make sure you are comfortable. You can use different angles and heights to capture different looks.

Ig: africanankara

3. Standing while leaning against the wall. This pose gives you a natural look. Just watch your hands and legs. Lean in different positions to capture call the poses.

4. Use props. Props give you more confidence during a shoot. Just get creative and play around with anything around you. Some people use food, ice cream, coffee and wine.

5. Play around with your hair. These poses make you look a little less awkward when taking a pic. You can shake your hair a little (gently). Move your hand in your hair then strike some poses.

6. The tip toe. This pose is dramatic but the shots are worth it. Try leaning against something for a better view. It’s best for swimsuit shots or when you’re barefooted.

7. Smile and look to the side. This pose will have you focused on something else besides the camera. You will look more candid and carefree.

8. Hand up pose. Stand facing any direction but not towards the camera. Stretch out your hand as though your reaching out for something. The photographer could hold your hand if possible.

9. Laying down. This is mainly done by people taking pics at the beach, swimming pool and on bed. There are no basics about this pose. Just go for it any time.

10.Hands-on-waist. This is the most suitable pose if you want to focus on the upper half of the body. It indicates a powerful character. You can change the position of your body or turn your head a few times.

11. Hands under the chin. I recommend using this pose while you’re seated at the table. You can change facial expressions in order to get good shots.

12. Face off. Trust me not all pics are supposed to be taken while looking into the camera. It’s all about the art and creativity. This can also help the shy ladies. Just feel free and make random poses without looking into the camera.

In conclusion, not all poses work for every individual, so don’t force yourself into poses that are uncomfortable for you. You can generate some new poses from the ideas above. Just get creative and remember to dress up in your cute outfits. Please comment with your favorite pose.


My most memorable night.

I had been talking to Ian for over 3months in 2017. We had never actually met in person. I met him for the first time during my first month of joining University. He had a printing kiosk where I and my friends would always give him our work for printing or typing.
Time passed by and the fresher’s ball was around the corner. I hate going to overcrowded places so I definitely wasn’t planning on attending. During the week of the ball, he asked me if I was going to attend and I said no. He called and said him and his friends where going to some club and that it would be nice if I joined him. I had no plans so I decided i’d tag along. At 8pm on Friday night Ian and the friends came to pick me up. So all together we were 2 girls and 3guys. They decided we head to mukono so we stopped via a supermarket where they bought 2 whiskey bottles for the road.
We were playing loud music and drinking our asses off. By the time we reached, I was starting to get tipsy. We entered the club and had more drinks and lots of fun.

When it was time for us to go home, the four of us occupied the behind seats leaving the driver alone at the front. As we reached half way the journey I felt Ian’s hands touching my thighs. I was very drunk but I got back to my senses in a second. He was my friend and I never even crushed on him or something. He had never even said he liked me so I wondered why the hell he would be touching me. The couple besides us had already started kissing. There and then I knew I had made a terrible idea to hangout with these people. He got the one of the bottles that we were taking earlier and tried to give me more shots but I insisted on my ‘NO’ and we both dozed off on our way. I know it was a terrible idea but the journey was long and the alcohol wasn’t giving me a time out.
Moments later the car parked and the driver told us to move out. Well I was drunk but not mad, i wasn’t seeing my hostel. In fact there wasn’t any flat house around. The other two moved out and I asked Ian why we were stopping at a place I can’t even recognize. ”you are going to spend the night at my place”, he shamelessly uttered. He had tried to touch my thighs twice while in the car so all that anger collected up. I told the guy who was driving to be a gentleman and take me back to where they picked me up from.

The driver had not been drinking a lot so he still had some consciousness in him. He allowed and drove off. To my surprise Ian stayed in the car as well. Now here is the most dramatic part.
The driver dropped both of us on the road side almost 50meters away from my hostel. Ian had my phone and room keys in his pocket. Told him to give them to me and he had the guts to say, “ I’m giving you two conditions, I give you your keys and phone then you walk alone to your hostel or you come with me to my place”. Mind you it was 4am and the 50meters to my hostel were really risky. They had been robbing people from that road so often. We were both drunk but I wasn’t stupid. “I’d rather give my phone to a thief than come with you” I yelled.

I don’t know why but that statement drove him insane. As in why was he even mad at me in the first place? The plan was go out, have fun and come back. The plan wasn’t for me to go to his place after. By the way that entire 5 minute quarrel happened on the road side. I was so scared that I started crying. I always heard stories of girls being dragged and rapped but didn’t know it would ever happen to me. I was meters away from my place so I wasn’t going to give up without a fight. Told him to give me my keys and phone and to never contact me again.

I hide my phone in my bra and the keys in my behind pocket. The thieves always start with the bag so I wasn’t willing to risk my everything. I left him on the road side and started moving. I was scared but it was worth a try. The hostel gate was always closed but on that day it was open. You don’t know how many “our Father” prayers I recited that night.
When I reached my room the first thing I did was blacklist his number. And that was the last time I saw and heard from him. I was so traumatized that I refused to go out with any male friend alone without my girls for the remaining semester.

Her man was my type.

There i was, stranded on the streets of the city in the night. My uber was taking long. I was getting worried already imagining, “what if something bad happens”, “what if i’m robbed” but I kept my consciousness intact. After three minutes of waiting, a matte black car parked infront of me. I thought the driver was going to enter the restaurant building which i was coming from but he wasn’t. My heart started to race. It’s 11pm why is that person parked there and not moving out.
The door opened and a nice looking stud moved out. He looked like he was in his late 20s, cute beard, tall and medium sized. At that moment i started wishing for my uber driver to delay abit. He walked coming towards me and i almost asked for the earth to swallow me but i had to act like his appealing appearance did not move me. “Hello” he said with his deep voice. “are you waiting for someone” it took me seconds to gather my guts and reply. His appearance was as nice as his personality. We talked for more 3 minutes until my uber arrived. He asked for my number and helped me hold the car door.

I was so happy and still blushing throughout the journey. Kept wondering how a man with connecting beards, perfect hair line, and a perfect voice would have such an amazing personality. It was like a dream come true. I arrived at my place and i told my roommate about the whole scenario. She just couldn’t believe any of my words and Speaking of the devil, my phone vibrated. It was him asking if i had arrived safely. I started blushing all over again.
We kept on talking for the next two days. He was just amazing. I was in a relationship but i couldnt resist Tony’s charms. He would call every morning and night. I remember at times we would talk for about 2 hours without even noticing. He would offer to pick me from campus at times. It was to good too be true but i was enjoying every bit of it. Those where like the best two weeks I’ve ever had. I just knew that he stayed in Ntinda but he had never given me full details. I was fine with that because i was still enjoying the fringe benefits.

At times he’d call me and my girls to join him somewhere for food and drinks. All my friends had approved of him. They would ask me daily where i got such a gentleman from. He made me question my ex and current boyfriend. Meanwhile my boyfriend was always complaining about how i was becoming distant. He wasn’t even half the man that Tony was. But i still love him either way. Tony was to perfect too be real and at times i wondered why he was even single in the first place.
He oneday hit me up with a “can i see you tonight” text I had lectures the next morning but he said it was just a date and that he would bring me back just in time to rest. We went out and had some amazing time.

We were still eating when some nice looking lady opened the restaurant door. Most people inside turned to look at her. At that moment i noticed Tony was feeling abit uncomfortable. He was acting strange and i got worried. I was still asking him whats wrong, if he just didn’t like the food. At that moment i noticed the lady was walking coming to our table. I don’t know why but there and then i knew i had messed up. Before she could even reach the table Tony flee the scene. He was at the door way in just 3seconds. She walked back following him like a young kid who had done something wrong. I was left alone at the table that night. It was the last time i ever saw and heard from Tony.

I’m giving up on you.

I’m giving up because its for the best.
I’m giving up because i love you so much to stay.
I’m giving up because we’re not the same anymore.
I’m giving up because you’re always fine without me and that scares me.
I’m giving up because you’re never going to change for anyone.
I’m giving up because love alone is not enough to keep me here.
I’m giving up because i’ll never be what you want.
I’m giving up because what i want from you is not what you give.

I smile when i hear your name.
I smile when someone talks about you.
I smile even at the slightest thought of you.
But ill give up because you don’t appreciate.
I’ll give up because im struggling alot for this to work.
I’ll give up because i’m all in and you’re just half way.

I’ll give up because i know my worth.
For the first time i’m tired of praying for us.

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